A quick thought

Last night, as I was trying to fall asleep, I began to think about how nothing in life is truly free.  When something in life is advertised as buy one get one free you are really just buying 2 items at half price each.  When someone writes please take me on something, you have to spend your time transporting it back to your house.  When a friend gives something to you, you had to put time into developing that relationship to the point where the friend is willing to give something to you.  I mean, to some extent everything in this world costs at least a little bit.  However, there is one thing that is free, and it is the greatest thing anywhere.  It is God's love, which he freely gives to everyone, whether they believe in him or not.  God's love is the only "truly unconditional" thing that is offered in our lives.  God loves everyone no matter what they do.  Isn't it just incredible to think that where absolutely nothing is truly free, the greatest thing we could be offered is absolutely free.  Hey, we don't even deserve it and its still free.... Our God truly is an awesome god.

Tossed by the Wind

Earlier this year I was given a verse that was supposed to be picked specifically for me.  It was Ephesians 4:14-16 which reads:

14 Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming.  15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the head, that is, Christ.  16 From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

 To be entirely honest with you I had no clue what the heck this verse meant, and had no clue what it was supposed to mean to me outside of the fact that it speaks of love.  In fact, to this very day I am still not entirely sure what all of this verse means or why it was picked for me.  I do think that I have some understanding of it now especially the first two verses.

Verses 14 and 15 are fairly clear I feel.  It actually plays on an idea from a book I had to read over the summer for college, which is horribly ironic because much of the book attacked the idea of faith.  In this book the author, Carl Sagan, makes a constantly repeated (quite unnecessarily I might add) to humanity to think critically about what they are told and to not just accept things.  This is a very important idea and one that really all should practice.  People these days are cunning, they can quote things to make them say anything.  For instance, did you know that the bible says "So I decided there is nothing better than to enjoy food and drink and to find satisfaction in work." (Ecclesiastes 2:24).  Essentially we are being told that we are to only worry about eating and drinking (which likely is referring to alcohol) all our days.  This verse is essentially confirming that the way college students live (well the vast majority of them) is the correct way to live. 


What I didn't tell you is that verse 24 continues on to say "Then I realized that this pleasure is from the hand of God" which drastically changes the entire meaning of the verse.  It shifts from live without a care to enjoy life because God has given you many great things, and in verse twenty five the transformation is complete.  It states "For who can enjoy anything apart from Him" demonstrating that we still need to remain true to God and continue our relationship with him in order for eating and drinking to be beneficial (which could provide an extraordinary solution to the average college kid's life.... but that's for another time...).  


Anyway, now that I proved a point, here's how I would carry out practicing this idea of skeptical thinking.

1. Make sure they give you a bible verse to back it up
• If they do not then its very likely that they don't actually know what they are talking about however you should still go to step 3 just to make sure that God was using someone who is new in the faith and not entirely familiar with his word yet.
2. If they do go and check out the verses that they used.  
• Make sure they gave you the full verse and check out the surrounding context of the verse.  Does the verse still have the same meaning the speaker (or writer, or whoever) gave it when its placed with its neighboring scripture?  If the verse doesn't mean the same thing and is an integral part of their argument then you should really start to question whether the speaker was being truthful however if its only a minor basis for their argument then you should still check out step three.
3. Finally, (and you really ought to do this first most of the time but oh well) look for yourself
• Go to the bible, do your own research, pray about it.  Ask and you will receive.  I am quite confident that if you come and really search for the truth God will reveal it to you.  This is a bit tedious but can really help you ensure that what you are being taught is true. 

So that is my personal method for checking the validity of something that I don't think is true, however I must caution you that there is a difference between feeling that something isn't true and not wanting something to be true.  Not only can others deceive you into doing things that you shouldn't, you can also deceive yourself into not doing things that you should.  Remember, check all the verses, and the context of each verse, not just the verses that make what you want to be true true,

Finally, on to the last verse.  I'm entirely sure what this is supposed to mean, perhaps God is planning on using it for something in my future but anyway all that I can get from it (and in this case the surrounding context isn't much help either) is that the church is referenced as the body before with Jesus the head of the church.  Therefore the verse is saying that when the members of the church act in love the body of Christ will grow and spread, which I whole heartedly agree with however for some reason I still feel as if there is something more to it.  I just have no clue what it is at this moment.



Until next time,
Godspeed

p.s. for anyone who is interested I posted videos of the cru worship band from last week, you can find them on my youtube profile at http://www.youtube.com/user/aliounis?feature=mhsn

Darkness

Hey all, like I said i'm trying to get back into writing this story i started forever ago.  I'm just gonna repost everything here since its been so long, but I am excluding chapter two right now, which is where I want to tell the story through Susan's point of view but realized that i have no clue how to think like a girl, lol, go figure.  Anyway, for those of you who have read parts of this before read through again because I've done a lot of editing and changed some parts.  I'm also thinking of changing the pastor scene to something else because I am beginning to have a different idea for some of the development of the story, but for now it's going to stay as it is until I think more about this other potential track.


Anyway, here you go.


btw, I really want comments and ideas, it would make my life a lot easier, and good ones, no just good job or interesting.

Intro

Darkness.   An absolute void where not one ray of light penetrated.  A darkness that deprives the mind not only of sight, but also of thought.  That’s all there was when I first opened my eyes.  At least, I thought I had opened them, but I couldn’t be sure.  As I slowly began to think again I noticed the cool, hard, smooth surface plastered to my face.  It almost felt like marble, but it was even smoother than it should have been.  I slowly slid my hands under my shoulders and tried to push myself up.  Before I was even to my hands and knees I fell back down.  It felt as if I hadn’t moved in weeks. Slowly reaching outwards I tried to create a mental map of my immediate surroundings.  To my right was a wall, to my left, more of the cold hard floor.  The wall felt as if it was standard dry wall, painted with really cheap paint. 

I tried to get up again but soon gave this up as a fruitless labor.  As I lay there panting I soon realized that I had no clue who I was, nor where I was.  As you can imagine, this was not a pleasant feeling.  I raced through my mind trying to find answers to what my past held in it.  Nothing was there.  It was as if I was searching for a contact in a room darker than the one I was in.  I grew frustrated.  “What is going on?!?!” I shouted.  Only the echo of my voice answered.  I could feel my heart rate quickening and panic setting in.  Not a shred of my identity remained.  I had no clue how old I was, if I had any family, why I was in this god forsaken place.  

Chapter 1

“You’ve really got to stop this…” my wife sighed, “every time you go out, you come home with numerous injuries and an excuse that doesn’t fit.”

“I told you, it was just a little mix up at work,” I shot back as I removed the ice from my eye and winced as she began trying to clean the gash on my leg.

“Just a little mix up?!  Jesus, Mark! You look as if you just got discharged from World War III.  How can you call that a little mix up?  And what I really want to know is how does your work cause you to get into fights?  You’re a freaking cashier at Walmart.  There is absolutely no reason why you should be getting into physical altercations.”

“Look, Susan, I already told you, some guy was trying to steal a camera and I chased him down.  He didn’t like that and thus this happened.  How was I supposed to know he had a knife?”

“Why didn’t you just call the police?”

“I did!”

“Oh, and I assume that they saw you and said ‘you look ok to me, you can go home now’ because you look just marvelous,” Susan replied.  I could sense the doubt in her voice; it was always there, ever since the first incident.  I wanted so bad to tell her what really was happening, that I really wasn’t a cashier at Walmart.  It hurt me so much to have to lie to her like this, but I couldn’t tell.  I never could.  It was for her own good.  If only she knew…

“I really don’t know how much more I can take of this Mark.”

“Please, just trust me,” I said as I looked into her eyes willing her to understand that I had no choice in the matter.  Her eyes were mesmerizing; they could freeze over the Amazon River with their glare and melt the ice caps with their affectionate glances.  Those eyes were just the tip of the beauty that was my wife.  A beauty she was, the most beautiful person in the world as far as I was concerned.   She had long black hair that fell to her shoulders.  She had a face that everyone could love and a body that could turn heads.

The physical appearance only scratched the surface though.  Susan was the most loving and caring person anyone could find anywhere on this planet.  Even when she was upset or angry she still had your best interests at heart.  I was so happy that we were together, in fact, I can say with certainty that it is impossible for any man to be happier with his spouse.

 She shook her head and began to stand.

“Look, I told you what happened. I’m sorry if you don’t believe me but that’s what happened,”   I blurted out.  Oh how it pained me to have to lie to her like this.  The words of my high school physics teacher briefly flashed through my mind.  “Never keep a secret from your spouse.  It is not a good idea.”  Ack!  I agreed so much with this statement, but he had never been in this situation, that much is for sure. 

“Humph!” Susan replied as she stood and walked out of the kitchen.  Our relationship was on its brink and nothing I could do could save it.  The only reason why we were still together was for the children, and even that was beginning to lose its purpose.  The children were the love of both our lives.  Few people could experience the same joy I could just by hanging out with those kids. There was Joey the cowboy, and the princess Shannon.  They were the pride of my life and I would do anything for them.

I decided that sitting around the house wishing things were different wasn’t helping anyone so I hopped in my 2000 Honda CR-V and shot out into the street.  I had absolutely no clue where I was going, just that I needed to get out and clear my head a little.  I hated it when Susan and I fought and tried to avoid fights at all costs.  The times when we did fight, which was becoming more and more frequent, I usually ended up here, behind the wheel of my reliable old CR-V.  That car probably shared more moments with me than anything else in my life.  It was my place to escape to, my safe house.

I started to reflect back on the last few years.  My marriage had taken a turn for the worse shortly after that one fateful night.  That one night is where all of this trouble began, where my life changed forever, for the better or worst.  That night and that man, that man who first intro….

“HONNNNKKKK!!!!”  My thoughts were interrupted by an angry driver behind me.  I had been day dreaming at a stop light again.  I quickly started through the intersection and turned off into the next driveway I saw as the other car sped around me.  I began to look around and tried to figure out just where I had taken myself this time.  I quickly came to realize that I was in the neighborhood where my good friend John lived.  John also happened to be my pastor.  I decided to drop by and see if he was around.  It always helped me to talk to him.

John was a very ecstatic and energetic man.  He was also very simple.  He lived in a small rural house that was quite literally in the middle of nowhere.  It had plain white siding and very standard looking windows.  The steps leading up to the front door, which was some faded and dirtied color that I think used to be blue but now looked off-white, were made of concrete and had cracks where they met.  

 “Ding-Dong” the doorbell sounded.  It was the most standard sound for a doorbell, and it fit John perfectly. 

“Mark!” John exclaimed as he threw wide the door.  We embraced and then I was whisked inside.  “How have you been?  Ohh I see you have been having more adventures, you must tell me everything.  We haven’t talked since Sunday, where have you been?”  John asked as he ushered me into his giant overstuffed armchair that had was now under stuffed.

John was the kind of person that was impossible to hate. He always had a smile on his face and genuinely cared for people. He also had that kind of air about him that said that it was ok to tell him anything you wanted to. 

 “You know I can’t tell you that,” I replied as I fiddled with a piece of the now almost nonexistent stuffing I had noticed sticking out of one of the seams.

“Yeah, whatever. All that bologna about ‘it’s top secret’ and ‘No one can know.’ I don’t believe any of it…” John said with a grin and a wink. I forced a half smile in return. “So how’s things between you and God?” John continued as he grabbed a chair from his kitchen table.

“O.K.” I replied.

“Been watching anything you shouldn’t?”

“Nope.”

As John continued through the standard accountability questions I began to dread more and more the last question he would ask. It was always a sore spot in our meetings. Then it arrived.

“Been reading your bible?” John asked with raised eyebrows.

“Ahem… Well… Umm…. No not really,” I conceded.

“Oh really? And why is that?”

“You know why!” This conversation had occurred so many times before that I had lost count. John just sat staring at me waiting for my answer. I sat there and glared back. The tension in the room was beginning to increase rapidly. Finally I gave in.

“I haven’t had time with work,” I grunted.

“So you’ve told me… Is that really a good answer?”

“It is the answer, what can I do to fix it? Nothing!”

“So you are trying to tell me that your job is more important than God?”

“No! That’s…”

“Ohh but it is. You are placing your mysterious job in front of something God wants you to do. You are stating that God is less important than your work.”

“What the heck am I supposed to do? I have a wife and three kids that I need to support. I can’t just quit!”

“Ahh, your wife, that would be why you are really here today, isn’t it. You are not just taking from God; you are taking away from her because you are never around, never tell her anything, and are always storming off.” John had this uncanny ability to know just why people came to him and a sometimes annoying habit of jumping from topic to topic. “I’m worried Mark,” John continued after a pause, “I have a feeling that your world is about to be rocked more than you can imagine. God is going to try and get your attention if you don’t change and you will not like it.”

A break in the conversation occurred. I contemplated what John had just told me. Eventually I decided to play it off as him just worrying about me.

“So will I be seeing you this Sunday morning? Mitchell is leading an awesome worship set,” John started again.

“If everything goes as planned I’ll be there.”

“That’s good, I think you’ll find something in the sermon as well.”

“Oh really? What’s it about?”

“Come on Sunday and you’ll find out.”

“You can be so difficult, you know that?”

John just flashed that smile of his and replied, “I try my best.” At this we both shared a good laugh. “Hey, have you eaten yet? Where are my manners, I have a guest and still haven’t offered him any food,” John suddenly exclaimed.

“Actually, I am pretty hungry. I haven’t eaten since last night, but I really must be going. I think I’ll just pick up something on the way home.”

“Oh nonsense! You will stay and eat with me unless you can provide a real excuse, I’m making pierogis,” John said almost teasingly.

“No fair, you know I can’t resist you’re homemade pierogis,” I laughed out.

“Good, good. Make yourself at home, they’ll be done shortly.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Thanks for dinner John!” I called over my shoulder as I went to start my car.

“Oh, anytime Mark, you know you’re always welcome here.” He called back.  “Read your bible, and come to church on Sunday!”

“I’ll do my best,” I shouted back as I began to close the door.

“No more ex…:” was all that I could hear as the door closed.  I just smiled and waved and then turned to back out the driveway.  When I was on the road I waved once more to John and began to pull away.  In the corner of my rearview mirror I watched as John slowly shook his head and returned inside.  I knew he was very worried about me but he could never understand fully what I had to do and why I had to do it.   Heck, I barely understood most of it.  I just knew that if I didn’t  “HONKKKK!!!!”

I had been day dreaming at a red light again apparently.  I glanced in my rearview and went to wave an apology when I noticed…..

“Already? There can’t be something else already.  No, it just can’t be!” was all I could think.  “HONKKK!!!!” He was impatient this time, which wasn’t good.  Not good at all. 

I swung off into the side street hoping that I was mistaken, hoping to God that the black Mercedes behind me was just some especially restless driver who wanted to get going.  As soon as he turned into the street I knew that my hope was unfulfilled. He pulled in front of me and opened the door.

Chapter 2

To be written later....

Chapter 3

“Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock”

Time was counting down and the obscenely loud clock in the otherwise penetrating silence continuously reminded me of this.  Suddenly I heard a loud snore coming from the bedroom right above my head and knew it was time to go. 

I quickly began to creep up the stairs staying towards the outside so as to keep them from creaking.  I had no clue why all my objectives had to be in older houses but it always made things a lot more difficult.  At the top of the stairs I quickly slipped around the left corner of the walls into the small blind spot missed by the security camera that was supposedly situated directly above my head right now, or at least so I was told.  I stole a quick glance above me to confirm and sure enough there was the camera pointing down the hall. 

I reached up a very carefully stuck a small receiver onto the back of the camera.  “It’s a go Mingus,” I quietly whispered into the mic tucked onto the collar of my shirt. 

“You’re good in three…. two….   You’ve got 30 seconds, go!”  crackled in through my ear piece. 

I sure hoped this man was right, heck, I didn’t even have a clue where or who Mingus was.  Every member of the team was hidden from all others, and the team was always different.  No one even knew the overall mission except for whoever was in charge.  I had no clue what was going on, though I had a hunch that each and every “objective” I received was just a small part of some overall project.  About the only thing I knew was that about one year ago a man came up to me and told me that if I wanted to keep my wife and children from harm, and pay off those debts that I needed to do everything he said.

“What the …. are you doing, …. down to … seconds, get a move on …  gonna blow it!“ crackled through my earpiece.  Dang it, I had lost focus again.  I always had to make things difficult on myself.  I quickly moved down the hallway as silently as possible “6 … 4 …” came through again and I broke into a sprint.  Silence was no longer the utmost priority.  “2 … 1” and I was through the door trying to breathe as quietly as possible.  I knew that from this point forward I was on my own, Mingus was probably quickly packing up and getting ready to leave already, his part of the mission was done.  All I had to do was grab some small ring that whoever was sleeping in front of me kept on their bed stand.  All I was told was that it’s made out of pure gold so it will feel very heavy for its size and could be easily misshapen. 

I silently crept towards the table and grabbed the ring which was placed on one of those fake fingers you see in jewelry stores.  I then slid over to the window and searched to make sure that there were no security devices.  I was in luck, and slowly slid open the window and stuck my head outside.  I knew that there should be a camera directly below me and “mew.”

What was that? I quickly scanned the room, saw nothing and figured it was just my imagination playing tricks on me.  I returned to canvassing the ground below me.  There was another blind spot at the corner directly to my left and then a small area where I could run until I was in bushes and home-free.  I leaned out a little farther to look and see if there was anyway to get over to where I needed to but had to quickly stop to wipe my nose on my sleeve.  No need to leave DNA.  I once again leaned out when I felt something brush against my leg and heard “mew” once again. 

I immediately knew I was in deep trouble.  I looked down and there was a cat between my legs.  I immediately felt a sneeze coming on (I was horribly allergic to cats).  Grabbing my nose I frantically began my search trying to use my mind to keep the sneeze at bay.  It was no use and I let out a muffled sneeze.  The man in the bed rolled over, grunted, and resumed snoring.  Praising my good fortunes I quickly reached out and grabbed the hand hold I had seen and began to ease myself out of the window when I again felt something hit my leg, except this time it wasn’t the cat.  I turned and watched as the vase that was sitting next to the window began to wobble and finally fell to the floor with a crash. 

“Ahh, wha…, who’s there!” exclaimed the man as he hurriedly sat up in the bed rubbing his eyes. 

It was go time.  I flung myself from the window and aimed for the pool that was two stories below me hoping that it was a very deep one.  I landed feet first and plunged under and hit the bottom hard.  I felt a sharp pain flare up the side of my leg but still managed to push myself back to the surface.  I swam to the edge with the sound of the alarm going off behind me.  As I pulled myself I got up and limped as fast as I could towards the bushes directly in front of me.  I heard shouts and saw lights sweeping back and forth from behind me.  Finally I reached the bushes and jumped up onto the fence and began climbing. 

“Hey stop!” I heard followed by a loud boom of a gun-shot.  I was in trouble.  These people meant business.  I hurried up the fence and dropped down on to the other side, collapsing in a heap as I landed on my bad leg.  I quickly rolled into the next row of bushes and then crept off on hands and Knees as best as I could manage, having to take cover about every five minutes as they canvassed the area searching for me.  Finally after about an hour they stopped searching and I was able to make it to the road where I hopped into the Beemer that had been given to me to use and sped off to the drop off location.  

No clue where this is going

So I'm bored and my roommate is in bed trying to sleep before me for the first time all year.  i have no clue what i'm going to write about so i guess we'll see where this ends up.  Just so y'all know, I've resumed trying to write that story i started about a year ago. Actually just gave up on writing more for the night because I've realized that i have no clue how girls think, and thus either have to change how i'm going to develop the plot or find a girl who wants to help me.

Anyway, I really enjoy writing this blog, but am totally out of ideas on what to write about.  I tried doing a study on revelation but having to write about it just takes all the fun out.. (I have half of the post I was writing about chapter 1 done and saved as a draft... I started it about a week ago, lol)  So, if anyone has any ideas on what to write about, give 'em to me, I'd love to hear about em.

Lets see... well I guess I'll just turn this into an update post.  Morgantown is wild tonight because we managed to lose our homecoming game (they would've been wild if we won too but thats a different story) I actually think that there was just a fight outside my window.  Outside of that, this place really is pretty awesome looking in the fall.  I'm not normally one who enjoys the changing colors of the leaves, its just another season, but hear, it just created "kodak picture spot" after "kodak picture spot" (thats from the little signs in amusement parks that tell you to take a picture here because its awesome, lol).   I wish I had the time to walk around and take a picture of everything but unfortunately i'm too busy and i forgot the charger to my camera at home (twice).

Keeping up with the add of this post, I'm really enjoying being in the cru band.  Its a lot of fun, and they still want me to play loud (and even ask for me in the monitors at times... lol).  In fact, I play so loud here I go through at least a pair of sticks a week (two this past week) which is not necessarily a good thing since sticks have become so expensive.  I've also gotten them to play a jordan howerton band song this week, which should rock, haha.

Speaking of music, I just want to say that i'm gonna miss jazz band this year.  It was a ton of fun last year and i think that everyone would agree.  I also would like to extend a congrats to SFHS on winning chapter three championships last night (about three hours ago I think).

Neither the yankees or phillies are in the WS just like I predicted before the lcs started.

I'm going to see the Pitt Symphony Orchestra today, which is awesome, and am going to play for a church right before that (which is in about 8 hours).

Classes are still going well, I got a 91 on my History test, and have scheduled classes for next semester.

Well, since i have to be up in 7 hours I guess i should be gettin to sleep.  I can't wait to see everyone from home over thanksgiving break.

God speed,
Andrew Liounis

Pride

In the bible nothing is more difficult to understand than the stance on pride.  Absolutely everyone has experienced pride in their lives.  I mean, there is probably no one who could honestly say that at no point in their life have they thought to at least themselves, that was really good, and I did it.  This is extremely troubling because in the bible being prideful about oneself is essentially prohibited. Take for instance just this small sampling of verses talking about pride.


Proverbs 16:18-19 (18) Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. (19) Better to be lowly in spirit and among the oppressed than to share plunder with the proud.


Proverbs 8:13 (13) To fear the Lord is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech.

Psalm 10:4 (4) In his pride the wicked does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God.

1 Corinthians 4:7 (7) For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?


I mean, there's some pretty strong language in there.  Its clearly obvious the pride does not sit well with God, and is in fact the reason the Lucifer was cast from Heaven to the earth and reduced to the devil.  That's really troubling, considering the fact that none of us have lived a life without pride, and almost everyone continues to feel proud at various times throughout their life.  There is seemingly no way to stop it either.  I mean how can you change something that is seemingly at the very essence of what makes us human.  ITo be proud we are told is a good thing according to popular culture and by the government (And I'm proud to be an American....).


I asked this question to Brendon Foulke a while ago (he's a pretty awesome guy, so if you ever meet him get to know him) and he responded with this:


"well its not that pride is bad all the time, to be prideful in your band is perfectly ok, but to take that pride and let it go to your head, where you make it bigger than it should be that is when it gets into being a problem.
and you should take pride in your work, because if you didnt take pride in your work, you probably would never really want to put your heart in it. The bible also says that you need to put your heart into what you do, and to do everything you do with all your heart. So i think that pride in a good way is ok, but when you let it get to your head and you start acting like you are hot stuff, thats when it becomes a sin. So ya be proud and prideful in your band, just dont let it get in between you and God, and your witness to other people."


I think thats a pretty good response and can really pretty much help anyone out there struggling with pride, however, I recently decided to dig deeper.  i definitely agree with Brendon, some forms of pride are good, and we should always "take pride in our work" because we want it to be the best it can be.  However, that pride can't be coming from the typical perspective.  We need to take pride in our work so that it can better glorify God.  I determined that from 2 Corinthians 10:13 (13) We, however, will not boast beyond proper limits, but will confine our boasting to the field God has assigned to us, a field that reaches even to you.


I also came up with one more conclusion on pride.  For pride about a talent we have, or perhaps something we own (aka materialism), or a child of yours (i obviously do not have a child yet), or anything else similar to those we must again redirect it to God, because guess what, God allowed whatever it was to happen, or gave you the talent, or made it possible for you to give birth.  This idea is reflected in the verse 1 Corinthian 4:7 (7) For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?


So, in conclusion, next time you feel pride coming on, remember A) to make sure that by doing whatever it is you're doing is glorifying God and if it is then take pride in what you are doing to better glorify Him (and if its not, well then you probably shouldn't be doing it anyway and you almost certainly shouldn't be proud of whatever it is), and B) remember that whatever it is you are proud of was given to you from God.  Oh, and one more thing, being proud of God is never a bad thing ;).


Until next time,
Godspeed 


PS: for my first conclusion bringing glory to God can occur in many different ways, a lot that you wouldn't think of.  For instance playing a sport could be used to bring glory to God (you are one of his creations) or playing an instrument, or writing, or dancing, or almost anything.

Who Would've Thunk It

At the urging of taylor i have decided to post this.  For once I'm not really lookin for comments, this is what it is.  Just a warning this is extremely long, like a 10-20 minute read long so, good luck

Written 9/10/10

Hey everyone, its been such a long time since I've used this.  I really doubt I'm going to post regularly anymore so the two of you out there that enjoyed reading this, sorry but I just don't have a lot to say anymore.  Anyway, there are a lot of things I would like to talk about in this post.  (Note, this is a much more personal post than what y'all are used to, so if you don't really know me a lot might not make sense, plus its really really long).

First up let me detail a little of what happened in the long time since I last posted.

• I moved.  Thats right, I no longer reside in Oaks, now my mom lives in Limerick and my dad lives in Royersford.  

• I was successful with my staying off of the computer and only began using it again around the start of August.  It was a good experience and helped me achieve much of what I wanted to but not all of it.  If you want to know more you can talk to me in person some time and I'd be glad to share.  

• I went to the outer banks with my best friends from high school and had an awesome time.  (there's a lot of pictures of sunsets on my facebook page from there, haha, ask papa todd about that if you know him)

• Finally I've moved into college and been here for about 3 weeks

That final point brings me to the next section.  I currently can't believe where I'm at with my faith right now.  Those of you who know me and know the reputation WVU has might be thinking that I'm in a world of doubt, however that couldn't be more wrong.  And honestly that fact surprises me a lot.  Right before leaving for college I was in a horrible place spiritually.  I honestly felt like I was going to lose my fait within the first month of school here at WVU.  I doubted that God even existed, the first time I can say that in my life.  It was bad, and to make matters worse the summer reading book I was frantically reading was very anti-god for most of it and made some convincing arguments (though now I realize none had any facts to back them up, only emotional appeal).  

Honestly I had been that way for some time, perhaps even before PCTC.  Thats one of the main reasons I wanted to go to PCTC, was to try and rejuvenate my faith enough to make it to CIY where I could fully recharge (I know I sound exactly like what the CIY speakers and Brendo, Matt, and Adam always talk about avoiding but I was desperate).  PCTC came and went and really didn't do a lot for me, though it did make me think that the bible study we were starting with John Noonan would actually help a lot with my declining faith as well.  

Unfortunately the bible study fell apart so I began to hold on until CIY rolled around.  During this time I had to fill out a ton of crap for college and somehow managed to forget to pick a date for my orientation. Luckily I could still sign up, but there was a major problem.  The only available orientation session was on the Monday that CIY started.  There was no way around it so I had to sign up for that date.  Eventually my parents agreed to let me go to CIY after the orientation session (we hadn't picked how yet but we had options).  

So anyway, I was stoked because it was getting close to CIY then one day while having our Jesus time for student band Scott (or Adam?) came in and said that they had some news to tell us.  When my friend Taylor asked if it was good or bad, we got a "it depends" which of course is never good.  I figured that someone was leaving again to go to another church.  Taylor guessed that CIY was cancelled.  He was closer.  CIY was being moved to a later date and a closer location because the church couldn't afford to send us out to michigan where we planned to go.  

Personally I thought that it sucked because I was really looking forward to the band that was going to be at michigan but overall I still knew it would be awesome no matter where we went.  Then things started to happen.  No one was going to CIY (that I knew).  Not a single one of my close friends wanted to go.  I don't know why, you'll have to ask them (though I suspect it was because they were really upset with the ministry for reasons I'll never understand).  Now I had a major decision to make.  I couldn't decide whether to go to CIY or not.  To me CIY was about the worship and fellowship and if you take away the fellowship then even the worship leaves a sour taste.   I mean, I would have known almost no one.  Eventually I decided that with no one going (not even Scrussle (who had a semi-legitimate excuse) or Noonan (who had a legitimate excuse) were going)  it would not be able to have the same effect it normally would so i begrudgingly decided to not go.  

At this point I was really worried, my faith was disappearing more every day, I was in the midst of a move that saw me leave the only house I had memories in (that I actually lived in), and I was having being buffeted by all of the crap I had to do for college.  I also began to realize at this time that my closest friends and I were not as close as we all liked to think.  Don't get me wrong, we all loved each other (in a platonic way) and any one of us would do something for anyone else, but that deep relationship was missing.  The one where absolutely nothing is hidden between people.  This type of relationship was almost entirely missing from our group.  

So anyway there I was, feeling alone, loosing my faith (which is the foundation for my morals) and going to one of the biggest party schools the world has to offer.  I was dreadfully afraid that WVU would be the end of my belief in God and even got to a point where I accepted it and, dare I say it, looked forward to no longer having such a strict moral code to adhere to.  Those moments, leading up to the day I left where the absolute closest I've ever been to becoming an atheist.

Anyway, I got here to WVU and figured that I would hold on as best I could and as long as I could to the one thing that most defined my life up to this point.  I didn't expect to last long but I figured I'd give it a try.  On the third day we were there (or something like that) the school had a picnic dinner for freshman.  

At the dinner some of the groups on campus set up booths that you could visit.  I was wandering around looking at the booths (looking for the frisbee team) when I saw something called CRU (Campus Crusades for Christ).  I figured I would go check out what it was because not much else was happening and I found out that they were a Christian group that met on thursday nights.  I asked one of the people at the booth what they normally did and they said that they normally had some worship then a lesson and then some more worship.  It sounded a lot like what we did at Riot before moving to the warehouse so I figured I would check it out to see if I would like it.  As I continued wandering I came up to another group called MCM (Mountain Campus Ministries) who gave me a free chicken sandwhich card from chick-fil-a (of course :D).  I asked them what they were normally like and got pretty much the same description as from CRU (except they met tuesdays).  I figured I would go check them out as well and maybe decide between the two and see if either was worth my time (remember I am still on the brink of giving up my faith at this point).

Well I went to MCM first (because tuesday comes before thursday) and met some really cool people.  There were about 15 people or so and it reminded me of when we used to meet in the office at CCV.  Everyone there was very accepting and it was kind of refreshing to experience such a small group again after so long.  Anyway I went back to my dorm that night and figured I would wait until thursday to decide.  (I'm pretty sure that all of the people at MCM thought I would never come back, and for a little bit I'll admit that I let at least Shane believe that).  

Anyway, on thursday I went to CRU and was pretty surprised, they had like 300 people there (or so I'm told, and it looked like it) and had a live band just like at CCV.  I had a lot of fun and even talked to the worship leader about joining the band even though I hadn't fully decided if I was going to come.  

Anyway on that Friday I figured I would go to both for a while.  And here's where the title of this post comes from.  Somehow, during all the courses, and all the homework, and everything else that a freshman has to deal with I noticed that I wasn't as worried that my faith wasn't going to collapse anymore.  Then I got thrown into the worship band at CRU because they didn't have a drummer for the next week, and at the first practice I had a lot of fun and felt close to God again for the first time in forever.  Now I'm at a place in my faith where I haven't been in nearly two years, and feel as close to God as I ever had.  I'm also playing at CRU again next week which will be a lot of fun again (especially since they have a drum shield and let me play as loud as I want :D(I even got told to play louder at times... I can't remember the last time I've been told that for a worship band)).

So, who would've thunk it.  I came to one of the biggest party schools on this planet with my fait in shambles and now somehow its better than its ever been before.  Go figure, I guess man truly never will understand the ways of God.  

Anyway, this is a pretty personal post, as I'm sure y'all could tell.  And I am planning on doing one like I used to in the near future just for my buddy Talon but haven't decided what it'll be about yet.  

So until next time,

Godspeed

Diving In, Unplugged - Post #1

From Andrew:

So yeah, I lied and suck at following through. Not at the overall theme of what I'm doing, but at writing a weekly thinger like I said I would. So here's my first one, almost three weeks in. First, thanks to Matt who is going to be typing these up and posting them for me (when I ever get them done Xp).

Any way, into the good stuff. Staying off the computer has been easier than anticipated. I have only had to use it once for school. The hardest parts of my plan have been sticking to working out and reading the Bible. Working out isn't difficult because I'm motivated, it's more of a lack of time. I've also hurt my knee from running (well I don't know if its hurt or if it just hurts, so I'm gonna try using a knee brace). The Bible reading has been is more of a lack of motivation. I've been doing it at 10:30, but a lot of times I start watching a show at 10, and hate having to leave it. I also don't feel like I'm getting anything out of it, so that makes it even harder. Anyways, that's about everything for now.

In other news, I think I am going to West Virginia University this fall. Thats about all the other news I can thing of so I'll leave it at that.

Until next time, Godspeed.